La La Land La Vida Loca...

Well, we made it. We left in a big puff of smoke, quite literally, and set off, like so many Home & Away & Neighbours starlets & himbos before us, to La La Land, where the city can either make you (hello Chris Hemsworth) or break you (hello the rest of you....)

The plane trip was somewhere in between excruciatingly awful, and....... pleasant. Things looked up, us realising that we had a spare seat next to us. Bliss, we thought, but upon closer viewings of the luxury Business Class seats ahead of us, we quickly realised that we were still in cattle class. Well, at least we weren't heading to Indonesia.....! ;) http://www.banliveexports.org.au/

My nightmariest of nightmares subsided as soon as I saw the entertainment unit in the back of the seat, with movies/music/tv goodies galore!!! But when would I find time to eat/sleep/constantly press the stewards button for free peanuts/kick the old guys seat ahead of me?!?!?!? I don't know how, but somehow I managed to fit in all of those habituals...

Food was average, although I believe Marky Mark, upon ordering Vegetarian, didn't quite expect to be fed stuff that looked like it would only be served to vegetables! Broiled veges and rice, and then the same on a roll does not constitute a meal!

We arrived a little tired, and definitely somewhat hungry, so we set forth for West Hollywood! A nice ol' taxi driver/tour guide took us to our hotel. He claimed to have been an old child movie star. Yeah,
right, do we look like we came down in the last flight from Sydney?!?!?!? After listening excitedly of his stories, we get to the hotel, a quaint little place, with a quaint little name, just the right place for quaint young people like Bondy & myself -  Petit Ermitage

Very tres bien abode indeed, as we wallowed in its pretentiousness, that was until, the 'child star' cabbie took off with our Duty Free! The Porters forgot to take it out!!! Forget the luggage, forget the passports, but DON'T LEAVE THE FRICKIN DUTY FREE!!!! Anyways, with pulses racing, we managed to get it sorted and he is dropping it off a bit later. Let's hope these actor/taxi drivers in LA have some kind of morals.... hmmmm.....

But, firt things first. After a quick shower to wash off the smell of cattle class, we start our trek for 'real food'. Finding many interesting places, we stumble across an old fashioned drive in diner. POIFEKT we think! Burgers all round! Mel's Diner, with old school jukeboxes, massive burgers, lip-injected botoxed waitresses and signed pictures of Richie Cunnigham all over the walls, this was what LA is all about!

After trolling the streets a bit more, we decide the hotels rooftop pool is the way to go, but before that, we stumble across an iconic haunt, The Viper Room!

Be seeing you later oh death footpath of River Phoenix!!!!! How dare you rob us of the star of My Own Private Idaho, The Mosquito Coast and Sneakers (all of which I presume you have seen, thrice)

Anyways, time to go sunbathe in speedos and get that healthy copper tan of the local Los Angelites, and to see whether this cabbie rocks up with our bag of contraband! Will he, or won't he? Stay tuned mesmerized viewers and those who mistakenly stumbled on our blog page and currently hitting the back button repeatedly like a video game from the 90s....

The answer will be in the next 'tantalizing episode' of "Tez & Mark's Most Excellent US Adventure (TM)"...!

JR