Miami Vice.....

OK Take Two. Another Post written, one more written off. Why oh why oh why do I do this to myself?!?!? Gone. I was on a really good rant too! Nonsensical euphemisms, and absurb similes galore. You will not have heard such rhetorc since Season Two of the sitcom 'Joey'...! (and yes, they did not make a season two, which explains it all....)
Not remembering anything from my previous posting, due to much fullness from dinner and raspberry flavoured vodka infused fury, I pick up this temperamental laptop off the floor, and, like Paul McCartney, start again (without a freeloading crap band to support me...)
But I digress, once again, and with a Raspberry Vodka infused beverage to ironically soothe my calligraphical nonsense, I try to think more about my engrossed viewer fans (am thinking Kathy Bates right now...)



.....and those that have just accidentally stumbled across our blog thinking it was something actually about Miami Vice....
Despite me looking nothing like Don Johnson, and Mark, depiste being half Filipino, having VERY different pigmented skin to the other guy that no one can remember, and despite the fact that we have similarly bad tastes in clothes....

....we decide to move on, and carry on with our shenanigans.... (love that word)
Flying in, an ominous thunderstorm erupts. And I am not saying the one where Mark found out that there was no back of the seat entertainment! The weather is cruddy! Crap! And Damn well Crufty (tm).



Despite this we, are on a high, yet missing the red neck fam back in New Hampshire (love), and head to our abode, the appropriately named 'Lords', an 'appropriately oriented' hotel. With an art deco feel, cute bellboys and a receptionist so camp she would do Ru Paul proud ("Love it.... *snap*" is her thing...), we head to our lovely room with a massive canvas of Liz Taylor looking over us...


We think this is either a good camp omen, or considering she has had 73 divorces, and we are on ONE engagement, a bit of trouble, but take it in good Richard Burton-esque stride and head on down the street to take on the slight rain, and find the true heart of Miami. Food! Plenty on offer, with ebery place offering Lobster and four hour happy hours. Tick, Tick, in my book!
We decide to head to the complimentary gym membership at the local gym, the gayest gym this side of Newtown. But with equipment that astronauts would struggle with, and eye candy as sweet as Toffee Apples, we try and sweat out this beer/wine/cocktail/pizza/burger/lobster gut that seem to have been added to our luggage.

Feeling good, we decide to check out the Hotel's Pool Bar, and mingle with the other residents who don't resemble Ru Paul (scary...... "Love it!!!! *snap*)
Sampling some of the cocktails, and the food next to, not one, but THREE cool pools, we lap up Miami. Shame about the weather. There is a retro Games night in the hotel tonight apparently, with Connect 4, Monopoly, and, uh, Twister, and uh, Spin the Bottle. We spin the bottle to the elevator, and adjourn to bed, not passing Go and not collecting $200.
A bit of a luxurious sleep in today, considering we got up at 4:30 to get ready for the airport from New Hampshire (Chur Bra), we needed it. We decide that we are feeling good, and hit the gym again. Feeling like psudo gym bunnies with protein shake in hand, we decide to go and check out the rest of Miami Beach. But with the Thunder looming, and am not talking about last nights dinner, we decide to go to the flicks! We had to. HAD to compare the experience to our number one love back in Australia (sorry pups and kits). Was interesting. We decided on Super 8, a great Spielberg-esque film, which was actually produced by the great man himself. With Popcorn ladled with additional butter (droooool......), we knew we were on a good wicket.

Movie, awesome, ****1/2 stars from me. The new ET, of which it totally is a homage. The Cinema, ***, Australian cinemas are much better, and I, geekily, should know.
We shop along the renowned Lincoln Avenue shops and get ready for dinner.
We aim up for some Brazilian Meat, the best in Miami. And I know you perverts are kinda expecting this....



...it is actually this....

Less R rated, but still just as debacherous..... ;)
Fogo de Chao, a brilliant, indulgent Churasscaria, in the lower end (*snap*) of South Beach. Debaucherous (seems to be a running theme on our trip), filling, extremely tasty and making us feel like a ciggie afterwards....
(yeah, you are still thinking of this, aren't you....)


("Love it....*snap*)
Brilliant food, excellent service, and what feels like a 5 kg injection of meat ("That's what HE said....)..... (too much?), we decide to walk it off by the beach, hand-in-hand, the warm water batting our newly fatted calves. Despite the weather, the water is beautiful, and crystal clear blue. Mills and Boon eat your heart out. Maybe a "From Here to Eternity" scene is in order.....



We head to our room, for a nightcap, and let the meat settle ("That's what HE s....oh, never mind...)
And so, we get to now. We are officially up to date with our Blog! ("he he ....blog"...) After re-writing this blog (trust me, it was a lot more sensical than this one, IF THAT CAN BE POSSIBLE!!!!!), we shall try getting some rest, watch some crap TV, and wait for the awesome days ahead. It is after midnight after all....
Tomorrow night we have a tour guide with a mate who shall show us the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, the top, the bottom, of Miami......
*snap*
Stay tuned to this channel....